First I want to say, that all the people that are writing on Facebook, all of the messages, texts, and voicemails...all of it...is read and so appreciated. I try to respond to as much as I can, but sometimes I am either busy with the kids or at the hospital, but regardless of if I respond, words cannot ever adequately express just how thankful my family is for each and every one of you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Leslie is VERY loved by so many people. She is the most kind, loving, and generous person I know. She never sees bad in anyone, so it is no shock to my family that she is getting such a strong outpouring of love and support.
My mom and I went back up to the hospital tonight to visit her. She was not responding at all when we first got there, and that was really hard for me. It's crazy, because sometimes I feel really strong and I can talk about all of it without getting upset, and other times I am a sobbing mess.
When I saw her tonight, and saw that she wasn't moving at all or reacting to me holding her hand and stroking her arm, I just lost it. She is my sister. My only sister. The person that has always had my back. We text often, message often, and most nights we IM back and forth on facebook. I can't go through life without her and when I see her not responding, my hope starts to weaken.
By the time we left, around 10:30 PM, she was moving her mouth a little bit. She bites on the ventilator tube a bit. She didn't open her eyes or move any other part of her body, just her mouth.
There is nothing else to update about. She's not awake. She is still on the ventilator. She reacts to most painful stimuli, but that is about it.
I have strong belief in the power of touch, so when I am with her, I am touching her. I hold her hand, rub her arm, play with her hair...anything I can to let her know I am here. I talk to her constantly, letting her know we are there, that she is in the hospital, etc. and I kiss her. As a nurse, I am passionate about the caring aspect of my job, and it is no different with my sister. I want to rub lotion on her legs, brush her hair, clean her skin...but I really can't right now. There are tubes everywhere. The most I can do is wipe her chin with a towel.
I love her so so much. Life cannot go on without her. She is too good of a person.