Monday, May 31, 2010

As I said in my facebook status, if there was such a thing as a perfect weekend, this past weekend would definitely be it!

Work has been crazy, so I was really grateful to be getting off work last Friday at 3:30. I had plans for Allison and I to meet my mom and sister for dinner at Olive Garden. Allison was just a peach at dinner, and us girls got in some much needed girl talk. Afterwards, the four of us headed to the mall where we did some window shopping.

Saturday we had a lazy morning, followed by a cookout at a good friends house. It was Allison's first cook out and she handled it like a champ! Ethan has become so polite and well behaved at social situations, and he made friends with a little girl that was there, so he was also great. Jay and I got to catch up with old friends. All of us either had kids, or had a baby on the way.

Sunday Allison and I went to church. After church, we went to my sisters house for another cookout. Ethan loves going to my sisters and Allison got her first taste of swimming. The girl is a fish! She wasn't afraid of the water AT ALL! It was hot and the food was delicious. My sister is an excellent hostess.

Sunday evening Jay and the baby stayed in to soak up the air conditioning and Ethan and I went to a local carnival. I spent way too much money on over-priced and likely unsafe rides, but we had a blast together. He likes rides just as much as I do and it was so much fun to laugh and have a great time, just the two of us. He is such a great kid.

Today I had to work, so Daddy and the kids hung out at home. Jay picked up a new camera for me with my birthday money. It takes amazing photos, so I'll have to share some. When I got off work, my parents came over for a very informal cookout. Now everyone is just relaxing and enjoying the rainy evening.

Jay said it to me this weekend just as I was thinking it... "I love our little family."

Saturday, May 29, 2010

God, I am bad at this blogging thing!

Work has been bad. Scatch that. It's been horrible. So horrible, I now dread going in, and I question my decision to become a nurse in the first place.

Let me tell you about what I do love about nursing. I love caring for people, but on a really simple level. I love making sure their beds are neat, their bodies are clean, their arms and legs are positioned using clean pillows. I like to tidy up their room and make sure any item they may need is easily within reach. If they are confused, I put their TV on the calming station, which shows calming pictures and soft music. I make sure their heels, backs, and bottoms stay free of redness. I get so much fulfillment out of this, as silly as it sounds. I like to take GOOD care of my patients, and when I have time to do that, I leave there feeling like I made a difference. And it was making a difference doing something really small.

However, the ER at the hospital has been so over-run. We have levels indicating how much of a crisis we are in. There have been several times we have been at a level 3, which basically means there are people down there waiting for over 24 hours. By the time they get a room, they are understandably upset, so we do a lot of...what's the word...butt-kissing, to try to make them happy. Also, staffing seems to be down, so we are frequently on patient overload, taking care of 6-7 patients when realistically 5 should be the maximum. On my floor, hospice and oncology, I have either critically ill patients or patients that are so close to death, to just ignore them because you are too busy is just horrible.

I need balance. I need to figure out a way to be able to really CARE for my patients without being overwhelmed. I need to prioritize my workload and save stuff for the next shift, if I have to. Because by the time I leave at the end of my shift, I am ready to cry, run, and not look back. I need to get my gameplan back before I become burnt out like we learned about in nursing school.

I am confident I will get to where I need to be so I can start enjoying my job again. I just read an AWESOME article in the Reader's Digest about EXACTLY what I have been feeling. It's crazy, because it is so parallel to my life, it's like it was put there for me to see. Even the reason the woman in the article went into nursing is the exact reason I did. It really showed me that it's not just me feeling this way, it's just the job as a whole. But in the big picture, I do a lot for my patients, even if it doesn't feel like it.

I'm off tomorrow, but I'll be back Monday. Fingers crossed!