Long time, no post! Sorry! I look at the blog daily, but I'm running into some issues and rather than say the wrong thing, I kind of just say nothing at all! I'll elaborate. As of right now, Leslie is bringing in no income. She doesn't have disability because they denied her. When you are trying to get someone disability, they will try their hardest to find a reason, any reason, to deny someone, and I don't want anything I say to be used against her. That would be tragic.
Anyways, she is doing quite well. She stays home alone all day now by herself, as her husband has gone back to working days instead of afternoons. We thought she'd be fine with this, but it actually makes her feel very scared and paranoid. She loves company. Even if it means you come by and have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with her or sit outside on their swing... she likes the company. In her own words, someone coming over "gives her a reason to get up in the morning." So don't hold back! Call or text her and make a date, especially Monday-Friday, during the day. She LOVES COMPANY!
She has started taking Ritalin to help with her motivation. My mom does think it is helping. She completely lacks taking the initiative to do something, but if you TELL her to do it, she does, and she does it well. Take, for instance, vacuuming. They were having some family over and their carpet needed to be vacuumed. It took my moms prompting and reminding, but she did it! And she did it VERY well. She did more than just run it over the carpet a few times...she used the attachments and got all the corners. She's good!
A lot of times, our interactions will feel like nothing ever happened, and I have to say, I love those moments. I called her the other day to tell her about my car being broken into and her response and the light conversation that ensued after were very typical sister-sister talk. I hung up the phone with her and just felt happiness.
There are still those times, though, where the reminders are very clear. I do think I am suffering from a form of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, because when I remember things, I remember them in pieces, and usually when a vision comes on, it takes my breath away and I physically shake my head to get the thought out. Sometimes it's something as small as seeing the scar on her right arm where her PICC line was, or when she will very lightly rub the scar on her left chest where the defibrillator is now placed, because the site is still healing and it is itchy sometimes.
She is so strong, though, and I feel so incredibly blessed that we got the outcome we got. I was just reading some facts on cardiac arrest and it said for every minute that a stopped heart goes without defibillation, the chances of survival drop by about 7-10%. This is HUGE considering the chance of survival IN GENERAL when cardiac arrest occurs is slim to none! She is SUCH A MIRACLE! Someone was watching out for her that day and made it VERY clear.... her time here on Earth is NOT done.
Love you, Les. Always have, and even more now. You are my inspiration.