Thursday, February 2, 2012

Some people exercise to relieve stress.  Other people might vent to a friend over a cup of coffee.

Me?  I shop.  A lot.  Throw in a stressful incident like my sister, followed by a string of difficult, challenging times after that, and I kinda, sorta, maybe overdid it.  No, no, no, I haven't done TOO much damage, but enough damage to where it caused my husband, who is an avid saver, an enormous amount of stress.

Early in the game, the shopping was fun.  But then as I started to shop more, the fun part of it started to wear off.  Well, scratch that.  The actual shopping part was GREAT.  The part where I swiped my card?  Ehhhh...not so great.  My mind would say "you know you shouldn't be doing this!" ...yet I would sign my name on that smudged screen and walk out of the store, bags in hand.

Then I'd drive home, all the while feeling very, very guilty.  But did I return anything?  Nope.

It finally got to the point where Jay and I went head to head.  Now let me preface this by saying we don't fight often.  Bicker?  Yes.  Find each other annoying?  All the time.  But fight?  No.  This time, though, was a full-fledged argument, and while we both got out words (some that weren't so kind), it was much needed.

That very night, I finally did it:  I cut up my credit cards (I only had 2....).  It has now been two weeks since I have had them and to be honest, it feels really, really good.  When the temptation is taken away, and you KNOW that little piece of plastic no longer exists, it sets my mind at ease.

Sure, I miss shopping.  But I don't miss the tension it caused in my family.  My husband and children are far more important to me than indulging in an unhealthy way of facing my own personal issues.

I have yet to figure out a better way that works for me (that doesn't involve money), but I am working on it!

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