Thursday, November 3, 2011

One year ago:

- I finally got it when I'd hear the saying "You never know what tomorrow may bring."

-I watched my sister struggle and overcome some vicious odds

- I learned how horrendous depression can be...realizing you cry, sob, and withdraw more than you smile

- I learned what pure exhaustion is

- I learned who my true friends were, and learned that family will always pull through to hold you up as your world crumbles

-I learned life gives no guarantees.  No matter how amazing of a person you are.  Everything can be taken away in the blink of an eye with no explanation.  And you have to accept that.

- I watched, and did nothing to help, as relationships around me crumbled because I was so withdrawn within my own pity and sorrow

-I experienced hate in the truest form, as people found pleasure in beating me while I was down, and I experienced love in the purest form as my friends came to my rescue

- I cried a million tears, I gave up, I didn't care what tomorrow brought because I  was too angry about what THAT day brought.

-I shook my fists at God, I slammed my Bible shut, and screamed whenever I'd hear someone say that God "cured" their headache, as my sister laid in the ICU with tubes coming from every direction, struggling to keep her alive

-I was mad, I was angry, I was so, so bitter.  I was selfish and self-absorbed.  I had daily pity parties FOR MYSELF

This year:

-I have put the past behind me, and KEPT it there.  No more "this time last year..."  We look forward, not backwards, because you can't change the past

- I have loved deeper than I ever have before. 

- My faith is strong.  Without faith, I've got NOTHING.  I am slowly gaining my trust back in God, but I admit, I do falter sometimes.

- Drama?  Save it for yo' mama.  I don't have time for it. Life is way too short to hold grudges.

- Give yourself time to grieve, but then pick the pieces up and move on.  Find blessings in every day.  Have patients and make it a goal to find peace in every circumstance.

- Don't be scared.  You can't live a fulfilling life in fear.  Things happen.  Pretend like they don't.  Take chances and never. stop. learning.

- Believe.  Whether it be in God, or in HAVE to believe.  Never give up.  Fight, fight, fight.  If it matters to you, you will do ANYTHING to achieve it.

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