Wednesday, November 16, 2011

"I never saw you leaving 6!  I thought you'd be a lifer!"  .... if I had a nickel for every time I heard that phrase or something equally similar since I announced I was leaving, I'd be rich!
I agree with it, though.  I never saw this coming, either.  I love that floor.  I love the experiences it gave me as a new nurse.  I truly feel it is one of the VERY best floors for a new nurse to start out on, as we take care of oncology patients, hospice, and general medical patients.  You learn SO much.

I don't even recall the exact time that I started scoping out other positions that were out there.  Like I said, I never had it in my head that I wanted to leave.  The 6th floor was my home away from home, and the 6th floor staff was my family when away from my family.  Why leave that?

....but I can also say that I never predicted my perfectly healthy sister to fall critically ill and end up with a forever life-changing diagnosis.  I never predicted becoming so emotionally unstable that I would need to be put on antidepressants just to be able to get out of bed in the morning.  I never knew I would learn in a VERY hard way who my true friends were.

When I interviewed for this position, I went into it thinking I would turn it down.  Then I finished the interview and decided I wanted the position.  Then I worked another shift on 6, and decided 6 would still be my "home", and I wasn't ready to leave.

But then I did some soul searching.  I thought about ME and my health.  ME and my needs.  Sure, there is comfort staying in a place that is close to home.  The only place you have ever known in your professional career.  But that is not what life is all about.

When people ask me if I am scared, I say no.  Because I'm not.  People ask me if I'm sad to be leaving, and I say no to that, too.  Because I'm not.  Leslie is proof that life changes.  It's meant to change.  It's meant to make you feel a little uneasy, hesitant, and even scared.  It's not EVER going to be comfortable and perfect, and I learned the hard  way that if you expect that out of life, you will be very, very shocked when that moment comes that proves otherwise.

I am excited for this next chapter.  I am excited to learn and grow as a nurse.  I am excited for ALL of it.

Zero regrets here.  Bring it!

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