Friday, August 7, 2009

I am a judgmental person.

You'll never hear me deny it. I know I am. I always have been. I got the chance to REALLY think about just how judgmental I am this week, though, when I got word of 2 different people gossiping about me, and making incredibly inaccurate assumptions about me.

It made me realize that I am not judgmental about everything. In fact, I think a lot of the times I am really REALLY understanding of people. I put up with a lot. I can think of several instances where people have used me, I knew/know they were/are using me, and I still tolerate it. I rarely confront anyone, regardless of what they do to me, which is why when I finally DO put my foot down, people are shocked.

Here are the VERY FEW things I have zero tolerance for:

1. Bad parents. I am far from being a perfect parent. I will never say otherwise. Jay and I even joke that with baby #2, we're going to get it right this time. But I'm talking parents that just plain suck. Smoke while you are pregnant? Pay no attention to your kids? Say condescending things to them? Just plain lazy when it comes to taking care of them? The list goes on and on. I hate it. I can't be friends or be around people like that. I have tried, and it doesn't work. When you take your "job" of being a parent as seriously as I do, I just don't have any interest in being around people who don't.

2. Freeloaders. Nothing in life is easy. You have to work for it. That's all I'll say about that.

3. People who disrespect my family, especially Ethan. Don't mess with my kid. It takes very little to offend me when it comes to him. This doesn't make me a mean person. It makes me a mom who is fiercely in love with her child. Other people can love your child, but no one loves them like their mom or dad, and I truly believe this. I take my job seriously. I never ever consider my reactions to be overreacting. He will always know that I am on his side regardless. I know life isn't always roses and sunshine, and I know that people are going to hurt him. But if I can do ANYTHING to prevent it, I will without hesitation and zero regret. I'm his mom. It's my job. And I feel this way about my family, too. Don't go there. It'll never turn out good.

So yeah. I thought long and hard about things that I just can't bring myself to overlook, and this was all I had.

I shouldn't care so much about what people think about me, but I do, and it's because I care. I don't want people to think untrue things. It bothers me. I lose sleep over it. But these few things will forever be nonnegotiable with me.

I don't think that makes me a bad person.

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