Thursday, November 20, 2008

Stupid nose

So I saw an ear, nose, and throat doctor. Why? Because only one of my nostrils functions. (Work with me, it's a slow news day, so to speak)

Yes, you heard right. I can only breath out of one side of my nose. Normal? No. I've known I had a deviated septum for quite a while. I mean, it's kind of obvious, no? So the doctor gives me this numbing nasal spray and dose this scope of my nose. The right side is tight, but doable. The left side? He couldn't' even fit the scope in. He told me my nose is narrow. I laughed. Apparently a deviated septum combined with inflamed, uh, nose innards due to allergies I've had all my life = difficulty breathing.

So he mentions surgery, which for me and my narrow nose won't be as successful as it would be on all of you with wide, gaping noses (hey, it makes me feel better), so we decide that won't be choice #1. Instead, he gives me this thing called "Sinus Rinse". Sounds simple, right? It can be bought over the counter, so if, after my story you decide you want to experience it, too, then by all means, pick one of the things up. He tells me I am going to hate him after my first time using it because I will feel like I am drowning. Oh goody! I can't wait to get home and try!

So it took me a couple days, but I decided today was the day. The instructions seemed simple...fill the bottle with sterile water, add this little packet of nasal seasonings, if you will, and squirt it in your nose. My eyes got big at the part where it said to "squeeze until the solution either comes out your other nostril or out your mouth." Wait, what? What it FAILS to mention is the force in which the bottle must be squeezed. In my mind, I'm thinking nasal spray...spray HARD and FAST. What I also failed to do is to give it a trial squeeze to see the force behind this little thing.

Long story short, I was gasping for air, drooling like crazy, and my eyes watered so bad, I had tears STREAMING down my face. Yes, the solution came out the other side. It DEFINITELY works! But a little hint that this thing was like a mini-garden hose would have been nice!

So yeah. Sinuses? They are clear.

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