Most days I have this STRONG maternal urge to have one more baby. I think of being pregnant and feeling those soft movements and knowing it was something that was only known by myself and my sweet baby. I think of the incredible process of laboring a baby. I think of those first few days when you entire world revolves around each burp, nap, and poop. My uterus twitches just a touch whenever I hear the soft music play while at work, indicating a baby had just been born.
Today though? Today was not one of those days. In terms of my reproductive organs, I'm pretty sure my uterus just shriveled up and dried, that's how this day was.
Why, you ask? What made this day so bad? MY KIDS WERE MANIACS!
In our heads, Jay and I had his picture perfect day planned. Allison and I would go to church. Jay and Ethan would go to one of Ethan's friends birthday party, and then we'd meet back at home and drive out to the apple orchard for a great afternoon of fresh doughnuts, cool cider, and pumpkin picking.
Where the heck did it all go wrong?
Maybe the part where Allison was a total maniac at church. She didn't want to sit with me in church like she normally does, and she acted like she'd never see me again if I left her in the play area...which meant we spent 2 hours just meandering around until we went home.
The ride TOO the orchard was nice, except we hoped Allison would take a nap early on in the ride so she would be rested when we got there. That didn't happen. She started snoozing as we were pulling in. That's always ugly.
And the fact that today was hot and sunny, we anticipated the orchard would be full....and that it was! Ever heard of the website called "The People of Walmart?" Well, there should be one called The People of the Orchard (ooooh sounds like a horror movie!) ...but no, really. It all began as we waited in line with our kids to jump in the inflatable pumpkin, behind a lovely family with the mother wearing a shirt that said clear as day "We'll rip their f&^%$#g heads off." I almost tapped her on the shoulder and gave her a big ol' thumbs up for being such a classy lady, but I didn't.
The bees were ridiculous and I all think we held our breaths as we watched a bee fly down the collar of Allison's t-shirt, fly around against her baby skin, then fly out the bottom of it.
The cider and doughnuts were amazing, but then it came time to pick pumpkins. It was as if someone pulled a string on Allison's back which sent her zipping through the pumpkins that were displayed for purchase and promptly tipping each one over. While she did this, Ethan kept yelling after her "Allison! Stop! Allison!" while Jay kept saying "Ethan! Stop parenting Allison, I will take care of it!" and I chased Allison around taking each tipped pumpkin and putting it back upright. We literally did this for like 30 minutes before we realized we STILL HAD NO PUMPKINS PICKED. By this time we were all hot, dirty, and tired. I ended up picking two good looking gourds and we hit the road.
I had it in my head that the kids would be overtired so they would be quiet on the 40 minute ride home...AHHHAHAHAHA! They were INSANE! Allison cried for her binky (which she HAD, it just apparently wasn't the right binky) and Ethan was mad that I wouldn't let him change his seat as Jay was driving. We picked a movie for the DVD player and neither kid could agree on a movie. It was a long, miserable, loud, migraine-inducing ride. As we finally did the final turns to our home, Jay and I started laughing. What. a. day!
....but neither of us would have traded it for any other day.