What a day!

Allison had her first ER trip. As a nurse, the thought of taking my sweet baby into an ER makes me shudder, but I became desperate and scared.

It actually started late this afternoon. She has always been a hard baby to burp, and occasionally she will get fussy and you just know her belly is hurting. But this time it wasn't immediately after she ate, so I was a little confused. I had taken her and Ethan on a walk. She was in the stroller and Ethan was riding his bike. We went to a little park and she was really enjoying herself. All of a sudden she started this awful, high pitched scream, and cried the entire way home. Normally when she does this, I know the tricks to comfort her. I will apply some pressure to her belly by laying her across my lap or I'll hold her against me tight. NOTHING was working. I had never heard her cry like that. I almost called for someone to come pick us up, but instead we walked home and by the time I got home, she was fine.

Later that evening I was at my parents house. Ethan was playing with my dad and my mom and I were sitting with Allison. She was laying on the couch being so content. All of a sudden she started the high pitched scream again and nothing we were doing was helping. And we tried it all. Then she vomited. It wasn't spit up. It was very thick. She did this 4 times and continued to scream. My mom and I debated on what to do, and eventually decided to go to the hospital.

She cried a lot when we first got there. Her heart rate was really high. We finally got her settled and the doctor came in. She is hoping it was just a really bad gas bubble, but she said it could also be a kink in her intestine that corrected itself. Since she was not showing any symptoms anymore, the doctor did not feel it was necessary to do an x-ray on her and expose her to radiation. Instead we were told to watch her and if it happens again, to bring her back immediately.

I am praying this was just a bad tummy. She came home and drank about 4 ounces of a bottle and she is resting. I will definitely be on high alert, though!

My poor baby :(

For the last many, many years, I have been 100% confident that I wanted 3 children. I was CERTAIN. Even the first few weeks after Allison was born, I still had that longing for just one more.

But then I slowly started changing. I just realized how complete I felt. Everyone knows how head over heels in love I am with Ethan. It's undeniable. I adore that boy. And I selfishly got him all to myself for just over 5 glorious years. When I found out I was pregnant with number 2, I was absolutely thrilled, but I kept thinking that I didn't want Ethan to feel left out. He was my BOY. My baby!

Then little miss Allison graced us with her presence. HER presence. I had a little girl! I was actually a mommy....to a girl! I didn't think I would ever get a girl, for some reason. But there she was! In all her chubby glory. MY baby girl. I think I call her "mama's girl" more than I call her Allison.

It was then that it hit me. I had my boy. My only boy. And now I have my girl. My only girl. I feel so satisfied and my heart feels so full. They are MORE than I could ever imagine.

Now this is not to say that I might change my mind someday. In fact, I bet I do. There is just something about your kids getting bigger that make you want to do it "just one more time!" And if I were to get pregnant, I'd be shouting from the rooftops with happiness. I'm just saying that if this was it...if my family was complete... I would be 110% happy with that.

It's been forever! I have to do better with this because I blogged all the time when Ethan was little and I still love looking back at those posts.

We are all doing wonderful!

I am back to work. I dreaded it, but now that I am actually back, I am very happy. I work days, which means I am home in the evening with my family, and that always makes me very happy.

Ethan is doing great! He is full of life and keeps us laughing all the time. He is doing awesome in kindergarten. His teacher complimented him on how well he is doing with blending letters together and sounding them out. He has a nice little group of friends at school and he never gives me a hard time with getting out of bed and getting to school.

Allison is just beautiful. She sleeps amazingly well at night. She smiles now, and when she smiles, she smiles with her whole body. She'll curl up into a little ball and just look so happy.

This week is a fun one. Thursday there is a family Halloween dance at Ethan's school that we are going to. Friday he normally doesn't have school, but he is going in to participate in the school parade. He is so excited to wear his costume. Did I mention he is going to be a bee? He picked it out himself and he thinks it's the greatest thing ever. He looks pretty darn cute in it. That night we are taking him to trunk-or-treat at our church. Saturday we are taking him back to the haunted house for friendly monster time. We took him once before and he loved it, so we are taking him again. They keep the lights on and the "monsters" hand out candy. Afterwards, we are going to Bacon library to trick-or-treat in the old house, and then we will trick-or-treat at home later that night. Sunday Allison is going to be dedicated at church. Fun weekend!

It's been 6 years since my Uncle Frank died and I remember that night like it was yesterday.

It was a cold, rainy night. My parents were up north, Leslie was house-sitting out in Newport, and Jay and I were relaxing and watching TV. I was suffering from some sinus issues so I took some Benedryl and I was half asleep on the couch when the phone rang. It was my Uncle Jim. He said he hadn't heard from Uncle Frank in a while and he was wondering if I knew where he was. I told him I had no idea, but if he wanted me to, I'd drive by his house to see if he was home. He told me absolutely not, that Frank would be mad if he knew we were checking up on him. We both laughed, agreed, and hung up.

About a half hour later, the phone rang again. It was the bartender and family friend from the K of C. She told me that some lady just called the K of C hysterical, and he was looking for my dad. She had no other details. I thanked her for telling me and hung up.

Deep down, I just knew. My hands were trembling and I was in the kitchen when I tried calling my Uncle Jim back to tell him. The phone rang and rang. I believe he was on the other line. He finally answered and all he said was "Frank's dead, I have to go."

The phone line went dead and I fell to the ground. Jay came into the kitchen and I was hysterical. I kept saying "I have to go home, I just have to go home. I need to tell my parents and my sister." I called Leslie's cell phone and she almost didn't answer. When she did, I choked out the awful news and we cried together. I told her I was going to mom and dad's to find the number to the campground.

When I got there, the house was empty. I was looking through their phone books, looking for a phone number. When I was searching, their phone rang and the caller ID said it was my Grandma. My first thought was that she already knew Frank was dead and she was looking for my dad. Since he obviously wasn't home, I figured I better answer and I'd do whatever she needed me to do. I answered the phone crying and she asked me what was wrong. My God, she didn't know. I had to tell her that her son was dead. Once I told her, she dropped the phone and started screaming. She never did pick the phone back up.

I finally go ahold of the security at the campground and they told my parents, who called me.

Once this was all over, my sister and I met at a coney island to talk. I think we mostly sat in silence, though. Once I got home, my phone kept ringing and ringing. It was all different family members calling to see what happened. I was exhausted physically and mentally, and I just wanted my mom and dad to come home.

It was, by far, the most tragic night of my entire life and I will likely never forget all those details.

It's been 6 years and a lot of the time it feels like yesterday.

Rest peacefully, Uncle Frank. I wish you could have met Ethan and Allison.

Long time, no update!

Things are going so well! Allison is just the sweetest baby. She is very alert and snuggly. She loves to be held, and she is in luck, because I love to hold her. She sleeps extremely well. When we put her to bed, she only wakes up once to eat and be changed. I have been blessed with 2 children that sleep really well!

Ethan just adores her. He calls her his "little princess". He is very sweet and loving towards her and we haven't seen a single ounce of jealousy on his part. He loves to help out with her.

Ethan also started Kindergarten! I was so worried about this, but he is doing just amazing! He loves school. He has made some new friends and he is excited to go in the mornings. He is also very happy when I pick him up. Just today he turned his bedroom into a classroom and decorated the walls with things from his Kindergarten classroom. It is too cute. His "student" is our Beagle, Logan. Today Logan learned his letters and they talked about the weather. :)

All in all, things are going very well. We are all just so happy. I will post some pictures soon!

So! Things are going really well. Here is Allison's birth story:

I had a scheduled induction for a few reasons. I was scheduled to go in at 9 AM. We showed up kinda early and I was hooked up to the pitocin by 10 AM.

Things moved slow. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but the contractions weren't bad. They were somewhat regular, but not painful.

After a couple hours, I was checked and I was 3 cm and 75% effaced. Again, we were hoping things would move quicker. Fortunately, my OB was in and told me at 2 she wanted to break my water to get the contractions stronger and more regular.

At around 1:30, I made the decision to get an epidural. Things had been so easy up to that point, I just didn't want to start to feel uncomfortable if I didn't have to. Jay and I had had a very quiet morning all that time, just chatting and watching TV, I wanted to keep things that way as long as possible.

No lie, the epidural was no fun. I was really scared. He had to poke me twice. About a half hour after the epidural was placed, two residents came in to break my water. I had started to feel really funny at this point. I felt really weak and it was like my vision was in slow motion. I assumed the epidural was supposed to make me feel like that, so I didn't say anything at first. When the doctors went to lower my bed to break my water, I asked if that feeling was normal. The nurse said no, and checked my blood pressure. It was 60/30. I panicked. It was super scary. She immediately got anesthesia back in the room, along with 2 other doctors. They were pushing IV fluids into me SO fast. Fortunately, with me being upset and all the fluids I received, my blood pressure came back up and stayed. It was a very scary moment.

After my water was broke, the contractions became regular, but very very weak. I was starting to think it was never going to work! At around 5, I told Jay to go to my parents house to get some dinner. They live right across the street. My best friend, Kristen, was there visiting me, and she said she'd stay until he got back.

As Kristen and I were chatting, I started to feel a little uncomfortable. I texted Jay and told him the contractions were starting to hurt so he should head back. Thankfully, he came RIGHT back. As soon as he got there, I told him he needed to get the nurse because I was feeling a ton of pressure. The nurse and my OB came in and I was complete!

I had already arranged for my sister to be in the delivery room, but I didn't think I was allowed another person in there. Because of the crazy fast circumstances, Kristen also stayed, and it was awesome. It could not have been more perfect.

I pushed for about 15 minutes. Hearing my doctor say "It's a girl!" was the most incredible thing. Jay was in heaven. He wanted a little girl so bad.

Allison Jaye was born at 6:49 PM. She is just beautiful and we are so in love with her. Ethan is an extremely proud big brother and has been just wonderful with her. He is also a huge help for me.

As for me, I am feeling okay. With Ethan, I was so overwhelmed. This time around, I am feeling very calm and I am enjoying everything so much. I could stare at her for forever. I keep saying to Jay "I can't believe we have a girl!" She is just a dream come true.

Right now Jay and I feel so complete. There is no question Ethan has always been my world, and now that I have my little girl, our family just feels so...right.