God works in mysterious ways.

Today I got the wind knocked out of me.  Not literally, of course, but I experienced a sense of hurt that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

There is no denying the love I have for my sister.  I clearly remember her first night in the ICU.  We went home that night, because she was so heavily sedated, we figured we would get some rest while we could because we had no idea what was to come.  That night, as I stood in the lobby of Henry Ford Wyandotte Hospital, I was crying.  I was crying because for me, living the rest of my life without my sister was terrifying.  Having a sibling, you just assume they will always be there.  They will always help you through the rough patches.  They will always be a shoulder to lean on and a friend to share inside jokes with.  A forever friend, if you will, and the fact that I was so close to losing mine was terrifying.

Right off the bat, when I started sharing her story, I got some resistance from people.  I anticipated it, though, and I respect it.  I know we can't all support every cause.  There are so many causes out there, it's just not financially realistic.  We can't help what causes our hearts lead us to. 

The more involved I got, the more resistance I got.  Again, I embraced it and respected it.  I never criticized or judged anyone who chose not to support. 

The last incident, though, was the one that brought me to my knees.  I shared my sisters story in a brief summary, along with a picture of her when she was critical and a picture of her when she was doing much better.  I won't go into details on it, because my blog will NEVER be about trashing someone(s), but I will say that if you want to hurt me, go for it.  You go through my family, though, and I lose that sense of respect.  I am FIERCELY protective and loyal to my family, especially my sister. 

So when this nonsense was brought to my attention, I responded the way most girls would.  I cried.  A lot.  I cried for hours.  I had red, splotchy, swollen eyes as I tried to cheerfully greet my patients with "Hello!  My name is Laura and I will be your nurse for the day."  I cried on the phone to my dad and I just know it ripped his heart out because he is equally protective of both his girls.  It was a long, rough morning, and I strongly wanted to throw in the towel and say ENOUGH!

But you know what?  I have some amazing coworkers.  I have some amazing friends.  People that care and support me.  To those people?  You will forever have a friend in me and I vow to not let you down.

Now here is the kicker.  I took all my heart paraphernalia home, at my own doing.  No one told me I had to.  I CHOSE to.  When I got home, feeling as if I got hit by a truck, I opened an envelope addressed to me and inside was a check for $250 for the American Heart Walk.  In the folder that help the money from the red dress pins and the cardboard cut out hearts, I had $127.00.  Then just from general online donations, I had $100.00.  This puts my total at $477.00 and this is just incredible!

So now I want to fund raise with a vengeance. I would like to raise $1000 by May 14.  Can I do it?  I'm not sure.  But I will spend every second trying.  If anyone has any fundraising ideas for me, please let me know ASAP.  If you would like to send a check, my address is Laura Kowalski, 605 St. John Wyandotte, MI.

I will be sending out notes with self addressed envelopes this week.

Every penny counts.  If you don't do it for Leslie, do if for your loved ones.  Nothing in life is guaranteed, so let's help make things as safe as possible.

I love you all.  I truly do.  Most of you I have never met, but just knowing you read and think about Leslie means the world to us.  SHE means the world to us.